I really believe that most people ache for that “true friend” relationship. Like most, I too have experienced hardships in relationships and from those experiences, I am offering my own advice on how you can become and have a true friend. By following the few steps in this article, you will have gained actually more than a friend, but also something to fill your hearts with a little more peace and happiness.
The first thing I feel very strongly about is love. In order to show someone you care, you must care and love yourself first. I knew someone from my past who always claimed she was lonely and could not understand why she could not keep any friends for more than a couple of months. I told her she needed to have more confidence and faith in God and herself. I told her to smile a little and be happy.
Part of love is how we act and others see it clearly, sometimes clearer than we can see it on our own. God created us all in His glory and instead of worrying about what others think, concentrate more on what God wants. Smiling lets others know you are happy and in turn, they will more than likely see you as a positive influence to be around. If you are always grouchy, negative, and frown a lot, people will see you as depressing. Attitudes are contagious.
It is written in 2 Corinthians 13:10 in the Bible that we are to love and build up others spirits. By knowing we were all created by God’s love, we should be happy and not only do as He wants, but also do right by ourselves to build our own selves up. Thus, being able to spread that love around a bit.
The second thing that I feel is very important is to not judge anyone on what you yourself think. Communicate every situation so you know all facts before you judge. Many friendships break apart because of this lack in communication. Unless we place ourselves in the others heart, we do not have the right to make assumptions based on our own feelings. Some are better at speaking their mind than others, but it is usually because they fear the outcome. Again, have confidence and keep in mind that even though at that moment things seem out of sorts, eventually it gets better.
Be a good listener. Sometimes the “me” thing can get in the way. What I mean by being a good listener is really hearing what the other is saying and reflecting on it before you respond. I happen to be a person who can write my feelings on paper easier than I can confront. So be patient and understanding with others because each individual is different on how they handle situations. This is not a bad thing and you should not look down on others, but instead, keep in mind that God created all of us for who we are. If we were all the same, this world would sure be boring.
Another thing to think about is to not just tell someone you are their friend, but to actually be one. When I was in high school and in my early college years, I had a “friend” who would only ask me to do things when she did not have anyone else to do things with. This is not being a true friend. This is a user. Do not make these types of mistakes in your friendships because you are only tearing down their spirits. If you really do not connect with someone, just be honest with them from the beginning of your relationship because when you string them along, it can cause them heartache and raw feelings that will probably back fire on you later.
Jealousy can cause problems in relationships. But remember, love is not jealous and this is written in 1 Corinthians 13:4-13. Therefore, be happy for your friend in who they are and what they have to offer and put all jealousy aside. Sometimes too, what other’s have is their own downfall, depending on how they live with their own blessings.
Lastly, it is important to forgive each other. Holding onto grudges ruins a friendship and can go as far as causing both physical and mental illnesses for you yourself or all involved. In Matthew 6:15, Jesus says that we are to forgive others. If we do, we will be forgiven. But if we do not, neither will God forgive us.
So if you want to be a true friend, first fill yourselves with a loving heart so you will be able to share it with others. The rest should fall into place: Communicating well, being a good listener and being honest, leaving no room for jealousy to destroy, and forgiving with a pure heart. To have a true friend, you have to be a true friend first.
Originally Published: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Rebecca_Book/93543