My questioning, reading, and studying in depth with our son created a small rift in my family. I was understanding where in The Bible He said He comes to divide. I was scared. The questions I had were honest and legit. I couldn’t ignore the facts presented.
I was feeling more and more empathy for my sister-in-law and others who walked this path before me. I spent days and nights crying and praying. What I was used to in my youth was easier, or was that way correct? I could not ignore the path from my childhood and what was embedded in my brain, but was it possible He was allowing my heart to open up to a new concept? My experiences proved over and over that He has my back and I had to trust He always would.
I was beginning to see that He expected me to make a decision. He said in Matthew 5:37 to not be confused. Was I letting my yes be yes and my no be no? Was I following His Word He planted in my heart?
I knew as I taught religion that I was to be judged more so than the rest. It was my responsibility. I knew as a parent that He expected us to train our children up to the Lord. Was I measuring up to His standards and not man’s? Was it me causing the confusion and doubt in our unsettled lives?
My husband and I were splitting on our beliefs. I was seeing God in a whole new light! Our kids are really smart – not to be bragging – but our daughter especially was seeing on her own the power of His Word. She would read every night in her Bible and asked questions that sometimes I couldn’t answer. Why couldn’t I?
There is a phrase that says, “A family who prays together stays together.” I was beginning to feel the punch of that phrase. Our praying habits were even changing. We would pray the same prayers over and over and when it came to the meal prayer, it was always, “Bless us oh Lord and these thy gifts in which we are about to receive from thy bounty through Christ Our Lord Amen.”
We came home from eating at someone’s home one day and this prayer was said so fast – I mean SUPER fast – and the kids asked what it meant. Even my husband said they honestly didn’t seem like they were praying but just habitually saying the prayer to get it over to eat.
So my husband actually made the decision to start praying from our hearts so the kids understood what it meant to actually thank The Lord for the food we were eating. It warmed my heart that he was seeing the importance of making sure our kids understood praying from the heart and not just to “get it over with and eat” concept. That was the last time that meal prayer was said in our home.
Ours lives were turned upside down, yet I believe His love was opening a path to a deeper meaning. And when I mean upside down, sometimes it was complete turmoil with not just our belief but with everyday living as young teens grew up!
