Every person on earth has experienced many types of friendships. Friendships can range from those who contact each other once a year to though to contact each other every day. But one thing for sure, we all need friends!
Friends come and go in our lives and sometimes it is painful while other times it is probably the best thing. The first type of friendship that I would like to discuss is the one that you have encountered briefly in your lives and not really established a deep friendship.
An example of this would be like someone that you have worked with for maybe a few weeks. Maybe someone that you shared a high school or college class with; One you have establish an agreement between the two and you are friendly with each other, but do not have that deep relationship as you would a friend that you have had since childhood.
Another type of friend would be that which you have spent 12 years in school with or maybe a neighbor friend that you lived next to for a while and they moved away. Those friends tend to keep in contact periodically and not very often. Although, there are a few of those that you do keep close contact with on a regular basis.
Then you have those true friends that have stuck with you through thick and thin. Those friends who love you for who you are. Those friends can be those who you might have known forever to those that you have known for a short while. Needless to say, friends are either with us the whole time, part time, or a long-distance time.
The material that makes a true friend is love. It is true that most people who have close relationships with their friends are bonded together by love. Some people may get tired of someone else and they don’t connect. Some of those stay friends and some do not but just slightly communicate with each other. I was thinking of that when I was writing my Christmas cards this year. I have friends that I might contact once a year by writing a Christmas card.
And yet there are some who do stay connected often who care enough about someone to at least call periodically. I have a friend from high school that I think of often, but we only talk on the phone maybe four or five times a year. Those tend to not understand each other because they are not in their lives enough to understand the circumstances of each others lives. They may catch up here and there and get a feel for life adventures, but there is a missing connection.
But then there are those friends who stick together no matter what. The other friend might say something trashy about the other, yet they understand each other and they continue to be friendly. Those friends might tell each other something that they do not like to hear, but they respect each other for who they are and remain close.
These close friends tend to know every detail about the other’s life. They know their favorite color or they know their favorite foods. They have learned to blow off arguments and continue to respect each other. They listen and stick together no matter what.
I recently wrote a story about married couples. In that story, I wrote that a marriage is not 50/50. Like a friendship, sometimes one gives more than they take and just the opposite, sometimes one takes more than gives. They do not worry about the even scale but they worry about each other.
I honestly did not grow up with too many close friends. I mean I had friends that I talked to and I saw here and there, but not many close friends that I did things with on every weekend or what have you. I had friends that used me when they didn’t have anyone else to hang with or wanted me to do something for them.
Friends are important in our lives. We need friends to bounce ideas off of each other and just to be there for that listening ear. I am not alone in this situation because honestly, most people feel the same way. There are many who are quite lucky they have had someone tooth and nail to be there for each other, but many do not.
To me, I was quite lonely throughout my grade school and high school years. I, myself, needed some kind of connection that I just did not get. I was never alone though! God was always there for me. But I used my experience to be that friend to anyone that needed a friend. And this is very important for everyone to understand.
If you want true friendship, you have to be a true friend yourself. If you say that you are a friend to someone, then spend time with them because you want to and not because you have to. If you say that you are a friend to someone, tell them how important they are. Be there for them.
Do not be a fake friend! Do not say that you like someone and then turn around and talk about them behind your back, just spend time with them because you don’t have anyone else to spend time with, or because you need someone to do your dirty work. Honestly be a good friend by loving that friend.
God and others are watching and they see the behavior of so many people. That verse in the Bible where it says, “do onto others as you would have done to you,” is an awesome verse. My husband was a great listener and a true friend. When we were dating, I just knew in my heart that this was my true friend. God had blessed me with the gift of friendship that would last a lifetime.
Friendship is defined in so many ways. It takes effort to be a true friend because it means putting selfishness aside and not worrying about other’s flaws. We all have different kinds of flaws and if we worry more about ourselves than others, we might be missing out on an awesome friendship with someone!
Some friends can be obnoxious and might wear you down, but a true friend would still be there. If those people are obnoxious and still wearing you down, gently tell them and explain to them what the issues are. If you tell them and those issues still occur, it is easy to give up on them, but is that a true friend?
I’m going to answer that by saying both yes and no. It really depends on the circumstances. If someone is truly getting on your nerves and you cannot get past it, it very well could be unhealthy for you to stay in a friendship with that individual. However, if you are a strong-willed and strong-minded person, then you should be able to handle their issues. Kind of like that poem of Footprints In The Sand, it is you who may be carrying someone’s burdens for them.
People have all kinds of life experiences that take them on various paths that may not be your kind of path. God tells us to love all and that’s what we really should do. Our paths do not fit into anyone else’s. The paths may be joined at one time or another and especially if you’re talking about a married couple, but as far as friendships, we all have a different path. Those paths can we walked on together only if it is heading in the right direction.
I usually do not have anyone who ever calls me and says, “Hey, do you wanna go shopping?” or, “let’s go do this or that,” Recently, I’ve had someone do that. Found out that they, too, are very similar to me! Their walk is a lot different but yet similar and that is a joy for me!
I used to go to a nursing home to visit my biological mother. When I went in, there was a few old ladies that really didn’t have too many family members who ever visited them. You would never see any of their friends visiting. After my mother passed, one of the ladies said, “Please don’t ever forget me!”
That broke my heart! There are so many lonely people in this world who need someone. Everyone needs someone! God gave us everything we have and most importantly our souls. He teaches us to love everyone, but do we? Friendships can help us get through the toughest times in our lives.
I have a few challenges that I would like to throw out there: 1) If you have one of those close friends out there, let them know how much you appreciate them. 2) If you do not have a close friend, try seeking one out by way of church services, nursing homes, work, or anywhere with those who have good morals and love. 3) If you have parted ways with a friend, look back and ask yourself if it was truly what you should’ve done. Make situations right that were wrong.
Some people make it really hard for you to like and love them, but be patient because some of those people may have had circumstances in their lives that have not allow them to know how to be a friend themselves. We each have a responsibility to show God’s love and to be that great example of a friendship. Whether you are a short-term friend, part-time friend, full-fledged friend, or once a year friend, be a true friend!
And one more thing, a true friend will never lead you to be a bad person! Avoid those who do not have good morals, who do drugs or drink alcohol, who are destructive and hurt others, or will cause you to get into trouble. A true friend will always lead you to God and the goodness that you deserve.
