Getting Back To God In Your Marriage

The other day I was listening to someone talk about their marriage. I was taken aback by the fact that this individual was so ready and willing to get a divorce just because they did not get along anymore. They seemed to be arguing a little too much and that was that.

I came from a long line of ancestors who were married for their entire lives. Some over 50 years, some over 60 years, and yet some 70 or more. When I became engaged to my husband, I told him he better be sure that he wants to marry me. I told him there is no such word as divorce in my dictionary.

Back in May of this year, my husband and I celebrated our 30th year Anniversary. I looked back over the many years that we’ve had together and there were many challenges we faced, but none worth breaking up our marriage.

I would like to go back to Genesis where God says in 2:18, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” Now skipping to verse 21, the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place for the flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man, then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man.”

Now verse 24 is very important. It reads, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” There was one man and one woman that God chose to be joined into one flesh.

Matthew 19:6 says, “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” This was in response to those Pharisees who came to test him asking him about the lawfulness of a man divorcing his wife. In reality, today it would be considered either the wife divorcing or the husband divorcing. God specifically said that no one had the capabilities of separating what He joined as one flesh.

There is only one excuse for a divorce. In Matthew 19:9, Jesus says, “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” So basically he is saying that if one or the other divorces the other on grounds of just not getting along, they would be committing adultery if they married again. They would have to live by themselves until God calls themselves home.

Gods plans for a marriage are for life. He created a woman to stand beside her man and be his help mate. Please don’t get in a tiff here because I’m not done yet. Times have definitely changed from the Old Testament ways to the now New Testament living. Women want their rights and want to be recognized, and I understand that. God’s way is the only way.

God’s intentions are good. I am a woman and I recognize that, yes, my man needs help. He was a farmer all of his life. He didn’t have time to fix meals, work a garden and have enough food planned for the winter, or take care of crying babies. And yes I’m gonna go there when I say that a man has certain needs and that’s that. Some women do too if they are honest.

It would have been a really boring life if Adam had been by himself. God created the wonderful life for Adam and honestly for us. The key is, we need each other. And I’m going to tell you from my life experience with my husband that God‘s intentions for the both of us are being played out as He wished! I need him and he needs me!

There are many life lessons in His Word that we can learn from. But the first thing that we need to recognize is to be unselfish. Philippians 2:4 says to not look to your own interest but each of you look to the interests of the other. A lot of people believe that a marriage is 50/50, but that is a false statement. Many times in a marriage, one usually gives more than the other and not all the time, but sometimes vice versa.

He tells us in His Word to be humble and that we should see that others are more important than ourselves. When we take the focus off of self and put it onto our spouse and our family, then yes we are lower than what we may feel. But, in God’s eyes we are not. We are suppose to regard the other as more important, or at least make the other feel and believe it!

Now, on the other hand, the other is also suppose to regard the other as more important and not beneath the other, especially since they are humbling themselves and perhaps spoiling the other. It’s supposed to work both ways! You are not supposed to take advantage of the other but respect and regard the other as more important.

I want to give the thoughts from our preacher, Roger Shouse, as the perfect explanation between a woman’s brain and a man’s brain. In one of his sermons one year, he had the perfect words for a couple and how to communicate. He told his congregation that a woman’s brain was like spaghetti; they were able to think and do and go all over the place at once. He said that a man’s brain was more like a waffle; they can only handle one thing at one time.

I just love that concept! A man is made to be the head of the household and a lot of times it is hard for him to come home and have everyone carrying on all at once. It can get overwhelming for him. There was a scientific study done almost the same year that our preacher preached that sermon. In that study, they literally found that this waffle/spaghetti pattern was very true. They were studying the brain function between men and women and the shades of red that showed up on both in different circumstances was quite interesting!

In certain situations, when men were approached with a problem, their brain activity was limited to only one area of their brain. On the other hand, women were given a problem and many areas of their brains were lit up. Men and women approach every situation differently and when each spouse recognizes that, it is easier to communicate indifferences.

I am a firm believer in God’s word. Ephesians 5:23 says that a husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is Himself it’s Savior. That being said, Ephesians 5:25 also follows up with telling the husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for us.

Another important verse is 1 Timothy 3:4-5 where it says that a father should be in charge of his household, keeping his children submissive, and asking the question that if he can’t manage his household, then how can he care for God’s church?

There are so many verses in the Bible that keep referring to the husband as the leader of his household. Personally, I don’t understand why it bothers a lot of women because it really does not bother me at all. It’s what God created and I’m not worried about that. I don’t have to wear the pants in the family to make myself bigger than my husband. We understand that it takes each other to work together and make our family complete. If someone is off worrying about having the upper hand, then they themself have issues with what God commands. I am not saying all people are this way, but I do know several who are.

Another thing to really remember is the fact that we cannot read each other’s thoughts or feelings. It is a must to find time to talk about your issues with each other. Get back to where you were when you were dating. Get back to the reason why you fell in love. God says to love and He commands it! You have a choice to want to succeed and let a lot go.

For every couple that has been married, we all were supposed to except God‘s blessing of marriage and take our vows seriously. He is the one who joined our lives to make us one. If we all have our focus on God and His love for His people, we can’t go wrong. We are here on this earth to be good examples and to do His will. A lot of times in life, it’s not about us and it’s about Him.

I know there’s a lot of people out there who read His Word, believe in Him, and love Him. There are also many who do not believe in Him and have a blank slate in front of them of not knowing what’s going to happen in the future. Whether or not you believe or not, in the end it will boil down to Heaven or Hell.

We can go about living our lives just the way we want it, but have we humbled ourselves enough to be worthy of His humbleness on that cross? Have we really and truly loved our spouse, ourselves, to be made worthy of Him? As a couple, as a family, or even for yourself, He is the center of our being. If you focus on Him who has joined you and your spouse into that one mighty force, then your lives can be mighty, but only with Him as the center!

I have been thinking and praying for that couple I mentioned earlier. My husband and I pray together a lot. I count this blessing some thing that touches my heart every day. How much do you and your spouse or even you and your family pray together? There is an old saying that goes like this: A family who prays together stays together! I honestly believe that.

These are just a few steps as a way to get back to God in your marriage. Our families need to be strengthened with His love and our marriages need Him to keep building us stronger. Not only will I pray for this couple, but for whomever needs prayers! Find peace and commitment through Him and you too can have a long- lasting life with your spouse!

I encourage you to copy and paste this Sermon on this very topic! I was amazed how I went to service this morning and this very topic was discussed! I should have taken this kind of approach maybe, but Roger is amazing! Please check this out: https://www.charlestownroad.org/the-rules-of-life/

I also encourage you to copy and paste to your browser the following: https://www.charlestownroad.org/?s=November+2%2C+2020+class+with+Jason+Hardin. These are great resources to help in your lives!