Helping that older man with writing his letters made me think. I had to do better and show my love for others. I had to be stronger than I was. He helped me see that my life was on a new path. For God says in 1 Peter 4:8 to love one another because love covers a lot of sin.
God also says in Romans 3:23 that we all sin and fall short of His glory. I know I was a sinner and still need The Lord every day. Even as I write this story of my life today, the devil doesn’t want me to succeed. All of my story went blank and he wanted me to flub up and get mad. But to be strong, we tredge on and keep going His way. We reach to Him for help!
We all sin but have hope in The Lord. My thoughts went to my sinful nature and the childhood/teen endeavors. My lack of strength and faith kept me from seeing what I should have. Was I forgiven? For He also says in Acts 3:38, “Peter said to them, ‘Repent, and each of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.’”
My brain went in all directions! I remember the thoughts that day going over verses that I read. I thought of what I learned by going to church all those years and what I taught. I remember being confused and not sure if I was truly saved and going to Heaven when I died.
Baptism was and still is a sensitive subject for many! Our religion taught infant baptism and having Godparents. It taught being Confirmed. Ezekiel 18 says we do not inherit our father’s sins. We were taught that we have original sin and inherited Adam’s sin. Matthew 19:14 says Jesus Himself told the disciples to let the children come to Him because the kingdom of Heaven belongs to them. God says in Matthew 18:3-4 to become like children if we want to enter His kingdom.
How can children be regarded as already entering Heaven and we told they are born with sin? Things were not adding up. We are instructed to repent of our sin. A baby and child knows no sin. In those history books we read, baptizing babies didnt come about until centuries later when babies were dying of some epidemic and the people went to the pope and worried their children weren’t going to Heaven. To satisfy them, baptizing infants was adopted.
As I aged, I questioned my heart being pure. The stupidity of my youth and words I used unsettled my soul. The Confirmation they set to appease the fact that when you come of age you accept Christ was not Biblical. In fact, when I was confirmed, it was a joke to me.
Our Confirmation teacher was a priest who partied with other Catholic members and drank too much. He used inappropriate language and was more a friend-type being than a leader. He took several of us on a trip one day in his fancy car and halfway down a knobs road and around an almost complete circle curve, he put his car in reverse and drove backwards. I remember thinking I’m dead!
We were made to take up a different name and we didn’t honestly learn much. Was I truly saved? This really bothered me! Jesus Himself was baptized by John. His Father God said this was His Son in whom He was well pleased. Jesus gave us Himself as example. Was God pleased with me?
The Archaeological Bible showed pictures of the baptismal pools that people walked down into to be baptized. I thought about that. Jesus went down into the Jordan River and when He came out, God was pleased. The Greek word that was used for Baptism meant immersion. Colossians 2:12 says to be buried with Him in baptism. Mark 16:16 says that whoever believes and is baptized will be saved. The eunuch came out of the water in Acts 8:39.
Who was I to do the Lord’s will when I myself was not ready and confused? The more I experienced with people around me and the more I studied, asked questions, read, and defined, His way for me became clearer. He said ‘seek and he shall find’ and I was beginning to understand!
